Stuffing the gaps in between words
02/12/08
I am shutting down lightness of being. I need to discipline and allow myself to mature in some ways. I also hope that this move will quiet down the chatter within. I have really enjoyed the past two years of blogging; I have been able to explore my voice and feel her texture in varying surfaces and depths. I have also realized a lot of my weaknesses as a writer, I have so much work to do.
I am at the best “place” I have ever been in my life. I feel so cherished, showered by such innumerable blessings; inspiring this restless need to simply “do” more. The more I busy my hands and heart with the endless work of loving; the more expansive and constricted I feel in turns. Sometimes I am all waterfalls, bubbling with enthusiasm and overflowing with magnanimity at the gorgeousness of this world. Other times, I am deserts, searing in the heat of the unknown, twisting and turning my dunes in agony of remembrance.
I find myself ruminating on the archetype of Haggar (May her soul be radiating with peace); turning and turning, digging and digging through sandy tracts to provide life’s waters for her child. She represents to me, the epitome of motherhood. This necessary work of cultivation that is leading me inwards to places that are so achingly serene and so hauntingly terrible, I am left trembling in awe.
I am stretching out my solitude, seeking darknesses to secretly nurture and eventually coax out the ferociously wild and spirited woman smoldering in the ground of my being. With her laughter ringing in my pulse, I hope to pick up my pen again and channel her (this me I am molding into reality) in constructive ways.
I want to say something too of the many amazing souls I have met in the blogging world. Your writings have touched and moved me in many ways; and have inspired my quest for more. And to all the kind readers who aren’t bloggers and have commented and championed me throughout, thank you all. I will be reading blogs still; and if I achieve some of what I am looking for, and if the blog world is still around then (that’s two ifs), I will come back some day Inshaallah.
Please keep in touch with me at lightness dot being at gmail dot com. I am not sure what to do with this space, I might keep around a little and then delete it once I have chosen the pieces I want to keep.
Take care and keep in touch (I mean that.)
May your lives be transformed by the healing powers of love and may He continue to embrace you in His folds of beauty and grace (amin.)
02/12/08 at 1:12 pm
may Allah bring even more nur to your life from this. Ameen
Insha’Allah I would like to get in touch with you, so I’ll be emailing you sometime at that email addy.
02/12/08 at 2:18 pm
Salaam dearest Maliha,
I do understand the need for focus as a writer and for the other personal aspects of your life.
But - I will miss you. I hope you’ll consider leaving your blog up for us to refresh ourselves with your beautiful words and insights. And I hope that we may welcome you back one day when/if you are ready.
Please keep in touch - you’re masha-Allah a beautiful soul!
Love and duas to you,
Baraka
02/12/08 at 3:27 pm
Aww, we’ll miss you! But I understand why you need to take this step. May Allah grant you the growth you seek.
02/12/08 at 4:55 pm
May Allah bless you on your journey, dearest Sister Maliha, and guide you with ever increasing love and wisdom. Ameen.
You are one of my favorite writers, and I will miss your beautiful and wise words, but I know there is more to come from you, and children are more important than words
My love to you and your family 
Ya Haqq!
02/12/08 at 6:39 pm
Salams Maliha,
We all need to grow and sometimes a little reflection is needed to ensure that we continue to channel our energies in a different direction. Thats the beauty of life and the amazing choices that we have at our disposal. So you are right to enjoy the positives that you have gained and look forward to something a little different. Not sure what your future writings will be, but do keep in touch.
Speak soon,
Your bro and family across the pond.
Hanif
02/12/08 at 9:29 pm
i will miss you very much! i wish you and your family all the best inshaAllah. love you! shaz
02/12/08 at 10:32 pm
Ack, I come up for air, look for you and poof! I have been underground myself, not posting much, writing, thinking, marveling at a new grand child, etc.
Dear Sister, you are the lyric Queen of Blogistan, and long may you reign! Please leave this blog up as long as you can bear it - there is so much here that is so good and Lord knows the vast desert elsewhere.
A thousand blessings for your journey and let me add my excitement for you as well.
Salaams,
Patricia
02/13/08 at 5:53 am
Maliha!!!
*gasp* But, but, what will I read now when I will need some gentle, enlightened words, when I will need some beauty on my gloomy days!
But I also understand. I hope the e-mails will keep us at least a bit connected.
*hugz*
02/13/08 at 7:54 am
Salamaat,
Umm Layth: amin to your duah; and please feel free to email me.
Baraka: Thanks for your kind words habibty, I will be in touch and may we Inshaallah meet someday.
Tiel: Amin to your duah. Inshaallah I will be back when I am as a disciplined a writer as you are.
ya darvish: blogging is turning me into a lazy writer…I need to get beyond publishing first drafts and become disciplined enough to edit and polish up my stuff. Inshaallah more will come..and my babies are the well spring of inspiration I draw from. Amin to your duah and we’ll be in touch.
Hanif: I emailed you. We’ll be in touch inshaallah.
Shaz: awww… I will miss you too. My kisses to the lil ones.
Patricia; “Lyric queen of blogistan” I love it! Thanks for your wonderful spirit and gorgeous words…Keep me in your prayers.
Natalia; awww, we’ll be in touch on email…Inshaallah this is a good step for me. My kisses to the prince.
02/13/08 at 1:45 pm
assalamualikum,
You will surely be missed.
But i am hoping this absence will bring out more from the writer in you.
So,we ll be waiting-)
take care,
wassalam
safia
02/14/08 at 9:33 am
Assalamualaikum,
all the best, sister!
wassalam.
02/15/08 at 4:57 am
We will miss you.
May Allah grant you what you are seeking….
Please do not delete the blog or the entries. There is so much to learn, read and reread here.
Salaam.
02/15/08 at 1:21 pm
Dear Maliha,
I will miss you and your amazing writing very much. Will you keep in touch via email? I hope you do.
May Allah fill your life with pleasures, peace and happiness, ameen.
02/16/08 at 9:51 am
Maliha I guess you have to do what you have to do. I’ll miss you, I love your writing. All the best in all that you choose to do in life. Take care and love to the little ones.
02/16/08 at 1:32 pm
I love your blog, it will be sorely missed!
May He most high bless you. Aameen
wasalam
Magda.
02/16/08 at 4:22 pm
Maliha, All the best to you. Thank you for coming into my life. I’ve let my readers know that you’ve shut down. I’m still “celebrating life and learning on Earth.”
02/18/08 at 11:40 am
Alas, growing entails more than grabbing hold of new things. It sometimes means letting go of old. We are finite, after all.
Best wishes to you, Maliha. I gained insight and perspective through reading your pages.
02/19/08 at 6:46 am
I am happy that you are striving forth on your sojourn of enlightenment and discovery.. I pray that you surpass your every expectation and achieve many beautiful milestones..ameen
at the same time, I’m really sad..Allah Knows, this blog has been an oasis in my life..kheir, I will keep in touch InshaAllah..
A small request,please do not delete the contents of the blog so that we may refresh our hearts and minds by your inspirational words..
Sending you oceans of love and happiness
Maseeha
02/19/08 at 3:15 pm
I understand your decision, and wish you all the best. I love your writing and find it very beautiful and inspiring. I hope you consider leaving the blog and not deleting it.
Fi aman Allah
02/21/08 at 5:41 am
as salaamu alaykum chica,
May Allah bless you in your new endeavors. I’ll miss lurking around on here and soaking up your beautiful words
I hope that I can still read your writings, either through the madina, email, or in whatever your next project will be. I’m just waiting for the day your first book sells millions and starts a ‘The Alchemist’ type sensation and spiritual revival 
May Allah continue to increase you in inspiration, in closeness to Him, and in eloquence of heart and pen.
salaam with lots of love,
shazia
ps I have decided to close Damascus Dreams as well… I’ve delayed it for a long time because it’s kind of a hard thing to do, as I’m sure you know. I’m trying to decide what my next step will be… ?!
02/24/08 at 7:51 pm
You write so beautifully,
Sending another breath of tender wind to cushion your wings as you fly,
Love and deep peace, Maithri
02/24/08 at 11:26 pm
Sad to see you go but please keep the site up indefinitely —- you have so much, good, inspirational writing that it’ll be a shame if you shut down the blog.
Salaam & Happy Trails
02/25/08 at 7:21 am
maliha,
i am also maliha.
very nice to see yr blog..ur writing is just too good. i wish i could write just like u.
wish u a very happy life..loving u
MaLiHa
02/26/08 at 4:18 am
Shame on me…it takes you shutting down for me to comment :(. But I have loved reading your blog for years I remember when you first started it!
I too, like Shazia am waiting for that first book inshallah. Best to you and your family xxx
03/1/08 at 5:04 am
Whatever you do; wherever you are - I do wish you and your family all the best. I do hope, that you will later reconsider and return to blogging. Your blog, has been one of the very few that, I find every moment spent reading it - worth it!
03/3/08 at 10:13 am
Assalamu Alaikum Maliha, so many times i feel like telling a blogger to stop blogging and go write a book, myself included. I don’t mind a long blog break in that case, but i hope you will come back. Everything that has REALLY inspired change in me has been in book form, not blog form. I am proud of you for taking this difficult step. May Allah make it easy on you and give you success. I pray the boys are doing well, may Allah keep them for you healthy and happy and from the righteous.
03/25/08 at 7:33 pm
as salaamu ‘alaykum,
it was a pleasure visiting and reading your thoughts and stories.
may you be happy and may you be showered with blessings wherever life takes you.
aameen.
fee amaanillaah
04/13/08 at 4:03 am
Salams Maliha,
And yes, this is sad news. And just when I was starting out again at my blog. Hopefully, your break now - and I can’t take this except as a break - will prove beneficial in the long run, inshaallah.
And like the others said, do maintain the content here: there’s just too much quality here fore a lifetime already.