The Tale of Squaredom
11/9/07
There was once a rich land full of very peculiar people who spent a lot of their time sharpening their edges into perfect little squares. Nobody knew or questioned why they had to be squares, it’s just the way it has always been. They lived in square little houses, drove square little cars, they even worked in square little offices called cubicles, more or less.
They had perfected the art of being squares so well, that they ran their whole society based on this model of efficiency. They were prosperous of course, with plenty to eat and had everything their square little bodies needed to be lulled into cozy comfort. They believed so much in the necessity of their squaredom, and its basis for their success, that they set about the necessary work of inflicting it on lands far and wide.
Of course they didn’t really admit to being squares and were quick to distance themselves from each other. For inscribed within their bones were other ways of being; glimmers of the ancient universes and galaxies buried within them, just waiting to be born. Throughout the ages, some sages had been born among them telling them of these marvelous mysteries and revealing to them means that would crack open their little opaque square shells and give flight to the cosmos within; but these peculiar little squares were very ingenious in the way that they stuck to their surfaces.
Some lauded the sages and elevated them into pedestals, made sculptures of them and worshipped at their altar while keeping their square little bodies perfectly intact. Others rejected those ignorant sculpture-worshippers, and went ahead valiantly to forge THE PATH laid out by their own sages, for all others to follow. Were they successful you ask? Did they actually take the means given to them to crack open their little square shells? No, they simply wrapped the means around their square little bodies and walked around pompously, upholding the banner declaring THE PATH for all to see.
Others still rejected the whole lot as delusional hypocrites. Universes and galaxies indeed! Those fables were just created by square little people to make their square little selves feel good about their meaningless existence. There is nothing else outside of squaredom! They proclaimed definitively. Polish your surfaces, sharpen your edges, and be true to your square little selves!
They all argued loudly over their divergences, quoting their sages and insisting on their own grasp of THE TRUTH. Some busied their little square selves with the creation of institutions to uphold the banner of their sages. Others busied their little square selves with admonishing and preaching other squares on the necessity of implementing those means to crack open their squares, and they dedicated themselves so wholeheartedly to this enterprise, they had no time to discover the truth of their own words. Others made a lucrative living perfecting the art of reciting the books revealed to them, in such heart rending melodies, all the square people who stopped to listen would momentarily weep at the obvious TRUTH of those words, and go on their merry square lives.
They all had those beautifully bound books in their homes, revealing all the mysteries of the paths walked on by sages and saints throughout time. Many of those books collected dust. Others insisted on reciting those books every single day, for various ‘other’ reasons. Like it made them ‘feel’ good, or it gave them points to bolster their arguments, or because it enhanced their own esteem of their squareness. THE TRUTH sounded sweet on their tongues, but rarely sank beyond their square surfaces to unearth the treasures within.
Others still, built special schools to indoctrinate the young on all they needed to know of the sages and the other paths, but the children were naturally confused. If there were other ways and those awesome mysteries really existed, why were their parents, neighbors, teachers all so busy perfecting their squares then?
The rulers of squaredom thrived on the diversions the little square people created for themselves. They allowed them the freedom to be square and this gave rise to all kinds of industries created for the perfection of squaredom. There were little square schools set up to produce more square people to fill all those square-perfecting jobs that waited for them out there. There were surface polishers and edge definers who made untold wealth decorating these little square people into walking art forms. Beauty was narrowed down and prescribed to surfaces only; and people were so mesmerized by all that glitter they forgot all about galaxies and whatnot.
Little square shrinks set up their firms to mend those little square people whose shells had been cracked through natural forces. The little square people would take one look at the ghastly void within them and go wild with madness. What were those darknesses? They couldn’t bear to look beyond their little square shells, for how could they? Their eyes weren’t accustomed to that kind of seeing. So they were soon given little square happy pills that sedated them enough to bring them to the surface and were encouraged not to think too much of darknesses and whatnot.
On the surface squaredom thrived and the little square people simply could not have enough. Even though they all paid lip service to their various sages, they had one thing in common, unlimited ‘needs.’ They were necessitated into being squares and working unfulfilling square jobs, because they abhorred living without the luxuries defining them. And as you know, my dear readers, the acquisition of luxuries is really a limitless quest.
There were rebels of course and many who considered squaredom to be a farce. They yearned to escape the inanity of their existence, and the benevolent rulers of squaredom took those people into consideration as well. Industries dedicated to escapism immediately sprang up to cater to those special needs. Regularly scheduled breaks from the monotony of squareness were scheduled to allow all the squares time to relax into make-believe worlds of competing fascination functioning as escape valves.
Those make believes worlds were packaged and brought into every home; to keep all the squares arrested and occupied for long stretches of time.
Children and youth were especially problematic for the rulers of squaredom. You see, the rulers had become dependent on the slavish dependence of squares on everything “else” outside of themselves. They needed to keep them busy and predictable so that fortunes could be made on the sidelines by those fortunate enough to be born into the ruling class. Children were not quite as easy to fool with trinkets and could get out of hand if they were left to their own devices so special institutions called “public” schools were built where the masses had to send their children for proper drilling. The children eventually grew uniformly bored, apathetic, cynical, whiny, immature; and most importantly slavish dependents of acquisition that “everyone else” was.
The rulers were quite happy with their perfect little society and everyone would have lived happily ever after save for an Imperceptible and Relentless force that tended to work against the very framework of squaredom. Lightening strikes of disenchantment cracked the hardest of shells and turbulence simmered under each surface threatening to explode. Fear quaked in every heart and the ever-so-alert rulers immediately feasted on it and churned out terror against all those square-hating-infidels. Blood was spilled, lives lost, and confusion reigned. The rich got o’ so oily rich and the poor little squares worked ever so hard to catch up but it was like they were placed on an endless treadmill that just kept going and going and going.
Something kept happening though baffling those ever-alert-rulers who needed squaredom to stay put; so they could concentrate their own wealth and power. Institutions threatened to crumble underneath their feet and as “occupied” as they kept the masses; some outraged souls still managed to get a sense of what was happening for reality had an inconvenient way of asserting and reasserting itself.
It seemed like the outer galaxies were conspiring to remind the little square people of their own galaxies within them and again that Irresistible force was pulling the two ever closer together. No matter how much the rulers and square “masses” struggled; everyone sensed the pull and lashed out against it in their own ways.
Angels kept circling around the square edges alongside the saints, seers and sages (very few of whom were still alive to bear witness to the madness); murmuring right under the cacophony of surfaces. Their melodious tales were wrapped around the orbiting planets, replicated infinitely in the flight of birds, cycling seasons, ebb and tide of the oceans; waxing and waning of the moon. Their soulful tales were infused into the essence of both momentary death and eternal life.
Of what do they murmur you ask? Why, just take a pause and listen, my dear reader.

11/9/07 at 6:00 pm
Wow, modern civilization in as square nutshell
Just perfectly square writing. These tale of something else out there that is not square can get you in trouble with the square police, you know. It is just SqaSci-Fi anyway.
Ya Haqq!
11/10/07 at 11:43 pm
i have little squares dancing in my head! your first paragraph put me in mind of two things: 1) flatland - ever read it? and 2) the “square meal” that milo, tock and the humbug (don’t) enjoy at the banquet in dictionopolis. squares indeed!
11/14/07 at 2:05 am
“…saints, seers and sages..” - are there any still alive and active enough? I wonder!
Considering the ‘madness’ I see around: modern day human slavery (including child labor & human traficking), the impact and enslavement of most by material and technology, the feocious way we continue to destroy the environment and deplete resources; and the mindless, merciless ways and means used by countries and corporations to get these resources and to ‘profit’ - I think, if there are any ’saints, seers and sages’ still around, they have been completely overwhelmed and silenced by ‘Squaredom’.
11/15/07 at 8:42 am
Salamaat,
Irving: you are too hilarious…I love sqasci fi.
Ayesha: haven’t read flatland and was I had intended to put in “square meal” at some point, but the story went in its own directions. Will check out the readings.
Omar: I have to believe saints, seers and sages; do and can exist in our day and age. I have to, or else I will go crazy. See the illusion of “squaredom” is that it is all encompassing, but we know it is not…and as history teaches us squaredoms tend to be self destructing.