Update on the Letter

Thank you all for your awesome comments on the Letter to the Imam ; I can’t respond to each because all I was going to say was “thank you, I agree, and yes, and yes and amin”. Mezba, the PS: was just a continuation of my own struggle with this letter. You are right I said it all in the letter; but I am keeping it just for now.  

This update is depressing and I thought why put it up? It will only discourage people and confirm stereotypes. But how would we ever learn if we don’t engage in these questions and follow up on our own problems? 

The Imam yesterday responded to me in a few lines and said he will basically answer the questions at that night’s lecture. He also admitted that his English wasn’t really good but he will try to clarify. He was very polite and respectful and thanked me for being honest and open with him. I was delighted. 

At the dinner he came in with a thowb (arabic dress) and a kufi. My mom and I joked that he didn’t wear jeans to make a point. It was a joke. I seriously didn’t believe he wore the thowb for me! 

So the Khutbah/lecture time came and he sat down and said:

“I didn’t force Niqab on anyone. I don’t have a sword to your head. If you don’t want to wear it, that’s fine. But I have to say, there are levels of faith. Those who wear Niqab are a higher level in the same way that a person that feeds the fasting people (and fasts himself) is better than the one who only fasts. Allah will give you reward depending on your level.” 

Okay, so he pretty much reiterated the same point only to make it clearer this time.  

The he proceeded to say this: 

“When I get off work I have to drive an hour home to change and wear this dishdasha (thowb/arabic dress). So it’s not
always easy. Sometimes I come in with my jeans. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to me, because I am wearing jeans. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said take your wisdom from anyone!” it shouldn’t matter whether I am wearing jeans or thowb.” 

Okay so he obviously missed the entire point of my long, lucid (at least that’s what I thought) email.  

I am honestly not mad. This is the problem we have in America right now. 

Our leaders/spokespeople /Imams are either: 

a) Immigrants and Men: Don’t understand the language or culture; but have plenty of Islamic knowledge/laced with another specific cultural context and seek to replicate their version of Islam here. I don’t think the Imam meant any harm. He just didn’t know better. To him it makes perfect sense (sans culture and context; and greater good and common welfare). 

b) Completely secular (Men and women): Understand the culture and language too well but are at best ill-versed with religious knowledge at worst hate the religion.  

c) Understand culture, love religion but not enough islamic knowledge (men and women): There are those somewhere in between struggling with a paucity of resources for true knowledge seekers in the west; and trying to balance and represent their faith to the best of their knowledge and ability. 

Okay to seal my indignation; remember the part I mentioned about encouraging men to let their wives come to Taraweeh? Okay, even the fact that I had to ask him to do so, is a really sad thing. Not to say, some men don’t already help their wives and that’s awesome. But too often it is either the moms dragging ALL the kids to come pray, or the dad by himself. How many mothers are seriously given that luxury of praying at the masjid alone and in peace? Just reflect on the proportions for just a minute.

 

The Imam proceeds to instruct men to flock to the Mosque. He stated “When the Prophet (Peace be upon him) heard the adhan; he didn’t pay attention to his wife or kids anymore. His heart was with God and he rushed! To the Masjid. We should do that and I hope to see more BROTHERS (emphasis mine) here everyday.”  Let us ignore that the Prophet (peace be upon him) did pray at home too especially for Taraweeh. Let us ignore the fact that he helped cook, clean, do housework, and actively participated in his own home affairs. Let us ignore his infinite compassion and sensitive soul. Please,all of that is not relevant; so let us pretend it doesn’t exist.

Alhamdullillah, I only managed to make it worse, if that is possible.  

I just hope that the next generation will produce some home grown scholars. I want a scholar that understands this country in and out; that understands not just text-book-culture-specific-Islam but a wise, beautiful implementation of it; that is completely devoted to manifesting the spirit of our faith.  

I want someone who can look around and see potential for a faith- infused existence here. Who can see God’s beauty, feel its weight on their soul; and seek only to replicate the patterns of that beauty in everything they touch and see.  

I want a nurturer, a compassionate, devoted, sensitive, intelligent, wise, humble person who understands when to apply certain things; and when it is the wiser course to step over symbols for higher reasons. 

I want someone who has been through pain, who has suffered greatly and understands the twin capacity of the soul to be emptied over and over again; only to be filled brimming to capacity with God’s love and light.  

I want him/her to be human, broken, flawed, to understand the capacity for tears to heal and most importantly to compensate for my weaknesses and helplessness. To empower me, not drag me down an abyss of emptiness and rote ritual. To engage me, not dismiss me. To listen to me with an ear that is willing to hear what I have to say, not just so he/she can reiterate their position again.  

I want to look at the Sheikh/a when he/she speaks and know that they “get me”. They understand my problems, aspirations, my hopes, my fears. I selfishly want to be reflected; and then told in the gentlest and most heart rending way that “It’s okay”.  

Not to be judged, ridiculed, or worse patronized into the sad corner of all those who have “gone astray”. 

I want to stop saying “Islam is NOT the problem”; to stop making excuses for all our weaknesses and failures
all too glaring in the light of day. I want us to stop talking and just let our actions speak for themselves. Let our actions, words, bearings, integrity to actually bear witness to what submission to God, the Merciful, the Compassionate means.

 I want all this for the sake of all the beauty that I see in God’s creation, for the sake of protecting my baby’s innocence and natural affinity towards all that is sublime, I want all this; because the current version of the Islam we are pandering is not enough. It is remains a shadow of the shadow of the shadow of all that it could be.

I guess it is too much to ask for those who hold on so staunchly to the Sunnah, to actually emulate the Prophet (peace be upon) in word and deed? 

Kheir, I have nothing left but a burning soul and a bleeding prayer for all that is good, enduring, beautiful and true. (amin).

 

PS: This morning my mother’s only comment was “Maliha, no more letters please!” I had to laugh. I am done with letter writing for a while.